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And, yet another day I’ve gone without using calculus.
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
They say if the palm of your hand itches, you`re going to get something. And if your crouch itches, you`ve already got it.
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
If you ever feel sad and blue, just remember that somewhere in the world, there`s a fat kid who just dropped his ice-cream.
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
No, an erection is not considered personal growth.
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.