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The hardest part about being rejected is that I end up liking them even more as a person for their ability to make great decisions.
Shhh...you had me at "alcohol may intensify effect..."
I need to unbutton my pants just thinking about how much I’m going to eat this week.
Thank goodness I`m loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can`t blame it on the alcohol.
Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram.
Baby.. I wanna be the reason you need therapy.
Note to self: Thanks for always being there.
Pro tip: “Hold my drink” is not a proper response to “License and registration, please.” … apparently.
All I want for Christmas is for these calories to not count.
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.