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I`m going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I`m outstanding.
Got my friend a Starbucks gift card. 2 weeks later I get a call. They said hey Dean, u put any money on this Starbucks gift card. I said no it´s a gift card. That´s the beauty of it u can put as much money on it as u want.
On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
I`m gonna open a bar and name it Rehab.....
A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I am dragging a body should be entirely irrelevant.
I don’t like being told what to do unless I’m naked.
Yes we`re friends on facebook but that`s where it ends, stop trying to talk to me in real life... mom
There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
If your phone doesn´t ring it´s me.
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
I wish people would stop judging me before they find out how much of an a$$hole I actually am.
Thinks that some of you make impulsive, poor thought out decisions. We should totally hang out more!!!