Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn`t park anywhere near the place
Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
If you are used to seeing a fat, naked guy walk around his house, then you are probably my neighbor.
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
There`s no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you`re blowing up a rubber glove.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
My wife is a sex object. Every time I want to have sex, she’ll object.
Keep scrolling , I got nothing.
Just saw the previews for the movie Taken 3, you would think by now he would`ve gave his daughter self-defense and gun lessons?
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.
You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.