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Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
Always keep a note in your medicine cabinet that says, “I thought you were peeing?”
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
Whoever figured out the `days of the month correspond with your knuckles` thing had too much time on their hands
Whenever there is an awkward silence try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
Things ain`t nobody got time for: That
I bought a book on eBay called, "How to scam on eBay". That was 2 months ago, and it`s not arrived yet
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.