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To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant: What in the world would make you think that?
You really understand how drunk you are when you`re peeing...
Life is like a box of chocolates and you`re on a diet so you can`t even enjoy it.
Do you ever get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say, "that can`t be right"?
This post is just for you.
Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
Remeber that time we came to work and we were excited? Me neither.
Some days your the duck. Some days your the goose.
I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way ... Through the driver’s door.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled.
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
Man I love watching women`s curling in the Olympics. It`s the only time I get to drink beer while cheering on women sweeping and no one slaps me.
Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.