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My entire life is a “you had to be there” moment.
Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook statuses; it simply makes me not care what you think of them…
I have no fear of heights. I do, however have a fear of falling from heights.
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
Psycho and socio have always been my favorite paths.
I think when a restaurant has "lobster celebration" it is very misleading to the lobster.
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart? hmm...
Men who claim women belong in the kitchen definitely do not know what to do with them in the bedroom!
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
Missed connection: you were washing your car in a bathing suit. I rode past your house 78 times. You threw a rock at me.
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps
I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still cut the cheese.