Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
word of the day: nincomtard
I hate crickets in my house.....except for the one I just killed. He seems ok.
Forecast for the weekend... mild alcoholism, with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, I´m becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
Just once, I`d like to see an honest Facebook status, like "happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!"
You know you`re broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.
11th Commandment: Thou shall not gossip about other people’s lives when you are not doing any better yourself.
I didn`t get drunk enough last night, I can still remember working.
If you don`t know me by now....I`m a really good stalker.
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers… carry on.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective.
The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you`re talking to drugs, it`s probably too late to say no to them.
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.