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I’m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
Just got a message that said "Hey, I tried to call you"...that`s your problem right there....you should have never tried that.
Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren`t in the database.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
Still waiting for a criminal on Law and Order to say,,, "Hey,, Aren`t you Ice-T?"
Money can`t buy happiness, but somehow it`s a lot better to cry in a Mercedes than it is to cry on a bike...
I finally stopped caring what other people think ... I hope everyone`s ok with that.
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
A smart man washes his hands after he pees. A wise man doesn`t pee on his fingers.
I`d be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive.
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
at my age, the best part of waking up is the fact that I did wake up