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I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.
MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
I`ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
I just awesomed all over the place.
This is the third time someone in Liam Neeson`s family has been abducted, they really need to stop leaving the house.
Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things.
Send a man to the store to get 5 items, he will come home with 4. Send a woman to the store to get 5 items she will come home with 54. Its science.
Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
My view on chocolate: God’s way of saying, β€œNo hard feelings,” to those of us who aren’t getting any.
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
There’s a reason why β€œsober” and β€œso bored” sound almost exactly the same.
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.