Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
Well, if anything, the Mayans did teach us one valuable lesson. If you don`t finish something...it`s really not the end of the world.
Ugh, I have an ingrown hair and it really hurts. This sounds like a job for medical marijuana.
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the heck.
If I could have anything in the world it would be to have the same finger prints as my enemy
I can`t wait to get home and have make-up sex! ... I`ve been arguing all day with myself.
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
Ever update an app and realize the "fixed issues" were all a lie and it will never be the same? That`s what going back to an ex is like.
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
I think you people lied to me...exactly how much of this hair of the dog do I have to eat before this hangover goes away?
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like CRAP ... until you have something someone else needs
Save water, shower together.
I hate when someone texts me cause then I can`t post anything on the internet or they`ll know I`m ignoring them.