Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
I got this new calorie counting app ... Every day I go for a new high score ... Winning!
Just want to apologize to all the unlucky men that have had to deal with my ex because I dumped her.
All I`m saying is, I`ve never seen my ex and Satan in the same room together.
I don’t care how high you set the bar as long as I can reach my drink.
I think I could be a farmer. Except for the dirt, waking up early, wearing overalls and planting crops. But I wouldn’t mind driving a tractor around.
What if God is a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I`ll never hear the end of it.
I’m amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?