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Saying an actors performance was unbelievable is actually an insult.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
If I had a mood ring on today, it`d be flashing like a disco ball!
Sö î hèãrd ÿôu lìkê gùÿš with ácçeñts?
You`re probably wondering how I post so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect.
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
Hardest question in a relationship, "What do you feel like eating?"
Sir, your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32
If today were a fish, I`d throw it back.
I know she`s talking about rain but I don`t like hearing my mom say she got 6 inches
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
It’s funny how “You’re so funny” turns into “You think everything’s a f*cking joke” in just 3 months…
sleep is for people without netflix
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.