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“I promise”, “I am sorry”, and “I love you” all have eight letters, but then again, so does “bullshit”.
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
Do you think retailers in Colorado have seen an increase in the sales of Easy Bake ovens and Brownie mix?
When people sit in front of me at the movies. I make a loud fart sound so they quickly move to get away from me.
If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
If one of Santa`s helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?
Think about the nicest thing anyone`s ever said about you. Not really true, right?
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
Dr. Seuss could have been the greatest rapper ever.
I am proud to say that I have completed the 1st item on my bucket list... I got the bucket
Few people have the balls to admit when they`re wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls.
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
Facebook ~ redefining "friendship" one booby pic at a time. ;)