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Does anyone have the owner’s manual for a wife? Mine’s emitting a terrible whining noise.
My Memory.....The Second shortest thing I have.
Some of my ideas are about as profitable as selling YOLO T-Shirts at a Reincarnation seminar
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
I kind of feel like getting some work done today, so I’m just going to sit here until that feeling passes.
My wife is pissed at me again...appearently I am breathing wrong.
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
Everything is so much funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
I give great marriage advice if you want to be divorced.
If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.