Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Remember, an easily stolen ADT security sign placed on your lawn is the first line of defense against crime.
Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
My interventions would be so much more effective if every single reason I drink wasn`t there
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
Remeber that time we came to work and we were excited? Me neither.
Pretty much the only time I want to hear about your ex is if she`s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I`m good.
I once dated a girl with a parrot. The thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though.
If you put Root Beer in a square glass do you get Beer?
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches.
Calling out your ex`s name during sex is a nice way to show your current lover that you won`t forget them after you break up.