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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
My favorite Facebook photo of your baby is easily #28,614
I`m sorry but sh!ts and giggles don`t sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
Saw a hobo sleeping on a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. Must be his alarm system.
"is Pepsi ok?" - my coke dealer, tryin to be funny
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
A gay man is just one colonoscopy away from foreplay
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.