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People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
They should create an app that makes your cellphone go “ahhhhhhhh” when you plug it in.
Shhh...you had me at "alcohol may intensify effect..."
Growing up and becoming an adult was the worst decision I’ve ever made.
Going to one of those places where you chop down your own Christmas tree, and then try to get away before they catch you.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.
You don`t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
I don`t know why they call it Everclear. I drink that stuff and everything is a blur.
The guy that discovered milk.. What did you tell your friends were you doing to that cow? O_o
I hate waiting until I`m dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.
Kids these days with their high tech cell phones. They will never get the experience of being stuck in a tree and not knowing if anyone is coming to help. Oh, and could someone come and set my ladder back up so I can get down.
There`s nothing like the laughter of a baby....unless you`re home alone at 1 am...and you don`t have children...
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world...
You`d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.