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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
This Polo shirt as two buttoning options: Uptight Golf prick or disco chest hairs.
I love you all so much right now because, well, alcohol.
When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside....
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
I`ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happened to me, only with beer.
"There`s strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Donβt compare yourself to others, thatβs when you start to lose confidence in yourself.
The most frightening thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.