Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When they say: "Wow, you`re really photogenic." What they mean: "Wow, this looks nothing like how ugly you actually are."
I think I`m gonna take a hot shower. Its like a normal shower, but with me in it.
I didn`t text you. Vodka texted you.
Health experts recommend a 1500 calorie diet. For those of you not good with math... that’s a 12-pack of 125 calorie beers. You`re welcome!!! ;)
My mom wanted to talk to me about my maturity today, but she didn`t know the password to my secret fort.
Big shoutout to my neighbors, who left their back door open accidentally, when I needed a few things and didn`t want to go to the store...
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
You`re never too old to learn stupid sh!t
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
Me? Stalk? No, I just observe... behind a tree... at night…in the rain.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
Free snow at my house. Shovel all you want!
30 seconds left on the microwave ~ Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone ~ Men: do the space shuttle countdown
If you have to use a shot glass to make your drinks then you`re not doing it right...
Have you ever wondered about the look on someone`s face if you hide under their bed and grab their foot in the middle of the night? Just something to think about.....goodnight!