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I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.
Mrs Bieber.... WHY U NO USE CONDOM?
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
I can’t believe it’s 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
It`s unfortunate that most people will never run out of things to say.
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
This bar doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to be karaoke night.
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
When you think about how big the Earth is, then how small it is compared to the Sun, and how the Sun is just a speck of dust in the universe, it`s easy to justify eating an entire chocolate cake.
One problem with auto-correct is that you always end up posting some thong you didn`t Nintendo.