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Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.
I just told my brother he was adopted, his response was, "At least they picked me"
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend.
You`re never too old to learn something stupid.
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
I imagine a world where whining on Facebook is illegal.
I think when a restaurant has "lobster celebration" it is very misleading to the lobster.
Thanksgiving advice: Sit at the kids table for as many years as possible.
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
I can`t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
Why is it called Boob Sweat and not Humiditties?
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!:D