Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet Captain Crunch has some amazing abs.
Sorry to all my friends and family members who didn`t know I was a freak until they saw my likes and shares on Facebook.
Today is National Take Your Flask To Work Day. I just made it up. Tell the others.
Most people don`t think I`m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
Just been wondering what "please Do Not Touch" would be in Braille
If you`re a grown man walkin around with a winter hat that has animal ears I can tell that @ some point people used 2 take your lunch money
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined by telling the truth.
You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma`am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
My body is by no means a temple but it can be one heck of a amusement park ride...
It makes me sad that the closest I`ll ever get to `hulking out` is splitting my trousers when I bend over.
We`re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You`re hot, and I wanna be on top of you.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting.
If someone invites you to their wedding, it`s apparently bad form to say "Sorry I can`t make it but I`ll come to your next one".