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Sometimes I’ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I’ll be like, “oh no, that can’t be right.”
Tonight I plan on drinking until I`m someone else`s problem
ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
Based on how many times I`ve dropped my phone, I`m gonna hold off on the whole baby thing.
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
I was late to work because I was having car trouble. And by car trouble I mean I was sleeping and not driving the car.
The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they`re all panicked over who`s getting deleted.
Do the right thing today: Go to someone`s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...
If you live up be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people… like claim you ate a pinecone every single day.
It`s not stalking if you love them!
Bad decisions make good stories.