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Why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let this stupidity problem solve itself?
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a dog, or just a pizza.
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
Never believe a person who claims is telling the truth while holding a pack of beers in both their hands
I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!
This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half a$$ jingler.
If a$$holes could fly, this place would be an airport
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I`m like, that`s so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I`m more fun than I actually am
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
Roger that command center, we have arrived at our destination and will commence countdown..............Sir this is McDonalds how may I help you
My boss yelled at me today “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?"...
You have 600 friends on Facebook but you have to take your own picture of yourself for your profile photo.
Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.