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“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
I`ve considered changing career paths and becoming a demolitions expert, but then I hear the education may cost me an arm and a leg.
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
Screw love... I`d rather fall in chocolate.
Don`t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex`s name tattooed.
When I woke up this morning everything in my house had been stolen and replaced with exact replicas... WEIRD..
I`m not fat. My stomach is in 3D
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
No matter which path you choose, there will always be some asshole in front of you trying to make a left.
Bitch, you`re just like monday, nobody likes you -_-
I like to go to a strangers house tell them you used to live there and that your grandfather hid money somewhere in the house and just leave.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.