Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You know you`ve won the argument when the other person responds with "Whatever..."
If I could move things by telekinesis I`d squeeze people`s insides and make them fart.
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I’ll say next.
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
Some dude was bragging about his brother being a navy seal and it`s like...I don`t care what colour he is, why is your brother a seal
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
If I say “it’s a great day to be alive,” it’s because those are literally my only plans.
I hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that crap.
IRS: We`ve got what it takes to take what you`ve got.
If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.
My son said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7,,, and now I`m terrified to go into the bathroom.
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
A part of me wants to go on a diet and eat healthy. Sadly that part of me is a liar.
Holy sh!t Karma, how much longer till we`re all squared up?