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The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
Women`s magazines are so funny. 1: You`re beautiful and perfect just the way you are! 2: How to lose 20 pounds in 10 days.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.
Maybe America will believe in global warming if we make it a Snapple Fact.
I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
Kinda like Facebook, I wish I could ‘hide’ people in real life.
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
Just got nominated for an Oscar for my role as "man surprised his credit card was declined"
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
I wanted to book an Elvis impersonator for a party so I phoned them up and got a call centre. It said `press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.`
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.
Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying "the economy" a lot.
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.