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All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
One trenta cheeseburger please.
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car that says "I know what you did".
Sometimes my attention span is shorter than a gold fish crackers are delicious.
LIKE IF you… walk into a room, forget what you need, walk out, and then remember.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.
You seem like a sweat person. Mind if I lick you to find out?
11th Commandment: Thou shall not gossip about other people’s lives when you are not doing any better yourself.
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
Yeah I`m married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT`S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow because I`m still looking for ideas
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)
Sorry I`m late, my alarm didn`t go off, because I didn`t set it ... because I don`t like coming here