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I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me "sweetie" too.
I went to the store and saw that Duracell batteries were on sale just before Valentine`s Day. Someone is a marketing genius.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I`m made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?
That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and then both walk in the same direction..
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
"Okay" means you`re in the clear. "K" means you`re better off not coming home. Fellas, you know what I`m talking about.
Laughter is the best medicine (that my insurance is willing to cover)
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn`t much, but the reception was excellent.
Don`t you wish it was as easy to adjust the brightness level on people as it is on your phone?
I think I speak for everyone when I say we hate being spoken for.
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.