Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet as long as I don`t eat anything else today and tomorrow.
I`m a huge fan of screaming "You`re welcome" really loud when people don`t say thank you...
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes...Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
I`m not the sort of person you should put on speakerphone.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
There are 3 reasons for ”Liking” someone’s Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I’m liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.
If anybody steals my identity, at least I’ll know who to look for.
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
So many fun things to say … too many relatives on Facebook to post!
The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling.. as I butter a doughnut
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.
Words of Wisdom: Don`t cover your mouth when you sneeze. You`ll get snot and stuff all over your hands