Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
Now that football season is here, if anyone`s favorite team loses, they can just blame it on Trump.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
If you don`t take 500 selfies a day, do you even love yourself?
I have many talents... For example: Sleeping.
Just when you want to be a good person again , someone new to stalk shows up
No. My hair magically got shorter.
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you