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Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
On the first day of school, I tell all my students to rip up their textbooks ..then I leave before their REAL teacher arrives.
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
Step 1: Remove food from packaging. Step 2: Throw out packaging Step. 3: Dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time, Repeat steps 2 & 3 as necessary
If Freud was alive today he would probably be awesome at telling "Yo Momma" jokes.
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
LSD makes users lose weight` That makes sense, it`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
Netflix would be by far the best dating site. "Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.
Once my ex knocked on my door & then shouted that it was her, so I texted “im not home” then seconds later I texted “if u happen to be here”