Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
Wives are just security guards hellbent on denying you access to your happiness, and porn collection.
It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
why would you go outside? that`s where bugs live
Some people just need to be clothes lined
Life`s most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.
I`d publish my autobiography but it`s just a bunch of liquor stained pages filled with doodles, and rants about stupid people.
The girl on the flyer is never at the club.
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.