Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
I pretend I’m taking an important call and use big words when old people walk by so they’ll think the future is in good hands.
If your house doesn`t have house numbers on it, you need to address that situation.
I have decided I no longer want to be an adult. So if anyone needs me, I`ll be in my blankey fort... coloring.
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
Yes, autocorrect, that`s right. I hate that stupid ditch
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
Just remember, outside of that beautiful slim bride on her wedding day there’s a fat woman just waiting to get in.
We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......
Today we salute Vodka~ruining family reunions and supporting hilarious `hold my drink` moments for 50 years...