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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
I swear that logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
I miss being able to use the excuse "I wasn`t home when you called."
My need for caffeine is so bad I`m going to AA for the free coffee
Most of you like waking up in the morning to see the "comments" and "likes" that your status received. I like waking up in the morning to see WTF I posted!
Sometimes I find myself envious of how well Waldo can hide..
ROFL!!ā¦.. LOL jk iām still in my chair.
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
My kids are always accusing me of having a "favorite child" which is ridiculous because I don`t really like any of them.
That awkward moment when you realise you have way more internet friends than real friends.
My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, so I invited All of her Friends over and made them clean the house.
The only beachfront property I`ll ever be able to afford is a sandcastle.
When I die, I am going to haunt the f*ck out of you people.
When asked how I take my coffee, I reply with, "Seriously. Very seriously."
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.