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My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
some people just need a high-five......in the face......with a chair!
I wonder if angry people know about naps?
Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pfft. I could think of like fifty reasons, I’m not falling for that.
Exercise would be so much more rewarding if calories screamed while you burn them.
This earthquake was the first time that I`ve ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
I have a pornographic memory... Go ahead and get naked, I`ll remember you.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.
Remember bad decisions make the best stories!!!
“Yes” is a perfectly legitimate response when asked how many drinks you’ve consumed.
It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from “this is the best day ever” to “I want to stab every person on planet Earth.”