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I`m actually a really good driver, when Facebook is down.
This time change has me all messed up. Driving with my hands at 11 and 3 is hard
My wife started clipping coupons to help save money. She keeps them in the side pocket of her $800 purse.
No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn`t going according to plan.
A plus side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and I won’t judge you because I too will be in my pajamas.
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
If I wasn`t supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn`t have made it taste so good with orange juice.
Walmart: the only place on Earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life "what not to wear" episode.
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
Procrastination is a dish best served eventually.
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
Just once I want to see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.