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Ever had sex while camping!? It`s intents!
Wine is just grapes for procrastinators.
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
My inflatable girlfriend always looks surprised when I walk into the room.
i feel naked without my mobile !
You bring everyone a lot of joy ... when you leave the room.
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
It’s only a matter of time until “Security Cameras of Wal-Mart” is a reality TV show.
Looking back, it was a good thing I was too wasted to fire up the chainsaw.
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
Like a good neighbor, strip clubs are there
Really disappointed to find out after laser eye surgery I am unable to burn down buildings
I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up.
is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.