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Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
I wish Tony the Tiger would burst into a raisin commercial and yell “They’re graaaapes!”
You can`t find happiness at the bottom of a beer ... Well no kidding, who is happy when their beer runs out?
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
I bet everyone in Gotham prisons really hates the guy that killed Bruce Wayne`s parents.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
Is it just me, or that sea witch Ursula from the Little Mermaid inspired from a full blown flamboyant drag queen?
To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your cart, you’re welcome.
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
If you needed to wear camouflage in a gingerbread house, would you wear ginger snaps?
Pink camouflage: I`m like, where you hiding? Candyland?
There’s a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the “close this ad” button.