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Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
Got my friend a Starbucks gift card. 2 weeks later I get a call. They said hey Dean, u put any money on this Starbucks gift card. I said no it´s a gift card. That´s the beauty of it u can put as much money on it as u want.
My neighbor came rudely banging at my door at 2:30 am, luckily for him I was up practicing on my new drums
He died doing what he loved: telling me I`m overreacting.
Never take advice from me, you`ll only end up drunk......
Best Relationship Advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
Ever wonder why divorces are expensive? Because they are worth it!
I am so thankful and grateful that out of all the planets in the universe, we live on one with pizza and vodka.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
If you`re feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
Yes... I repost. Isn`t that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that`s your fault...
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
People always say that alcohol kills... but if you think about it .... it causes many births too.
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.