Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I just can`t seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently. English and Klingon.
Share this if you are weird and don`t care
Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
Don`t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy man`s food!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ... no matter how magnificent they look.
Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.
If the plan is β€œdrink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
If we`re in a situation where I am the "voice of reason," then we are in a very very bad situation.
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.