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I just can`t seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently. English and Klingon.
Share this if you are weird and don`t care
Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
Don`t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy man`s food!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ... no matter how magnificent they look.
Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.
If the plan is βdrink beer now, figure out life laterβ then yes, everything is going according to plan.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
If we`re in a situation where I am the "voice of reason," then we are in a very very bad situation.
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.