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Relax,,, We`re all crazy.. It`s not a competition.
I’m just going to put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
Life would be so much more interesting if we all had cartoon bubbles over our heads.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, “I’m not crazy!” and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!
Walmart...because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
Did you know dryer sheets double as toilet paper and leave your a$$ smelling like meadows and rain drops?
Note to self: Thanks for always being there.
I don’t care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.
To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.
Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.
If you live up be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people… like claim you ate a pinecone every single day.