Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
Nipples: Nature`s thermometer.
All women are crazy. But, if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live.
Half the lies they tell about me aren`t true
you know what sucks about being a "chubby guy"....when your girlfriend wants to play with YOUR boobs :)
Who me? Oh I`m just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
Life is far too short to remove the USB safely.
The only F word out a woman`s mouth that scares me is "fine."
I use a blender to make protein shakes in my office every day. That way when I use it to mix up a pitcher of margaritas no one even notices.
I`m already an idiot, I just need a village.
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or complain. But it was a long time ago, and it was just for that one day.
Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.