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And then her mood ring just...exploded
Alcohol goes in, truth comes out.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
“Check that sh!t out” luckily rarely refers to actual sh!t.
Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How´d that work out for him?
The police never think its as funny as you do.
"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it, I better call the police!" - literally no one ever
drinking 2% milk, wondering what the other 98% is...
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
The fact that I start clapping every time someone says "Please give me a hand" is only like the number 6 reason I dont have friends.
Personal trainer said we`re going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese...He hates me.
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”