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The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
People always get offended when you call their baby ugly, but they never understand that they`ve offended you by showing you an ugly baby.
I saw a poor old lady fall over today, at least I presume she was poor, she only had $ 1,20 in her purse
I don`t get it, no matter how many times I call `shotgun` the cops always put me in the backseat.
I wonder how many strangers have stories about me.
I`ll be right with you, I`m busy being inappropriate on the internet.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
Don`t ``Wine and dine`` me ... ``Champagne`` me ... step it up a notch
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.
Guys, if she says she’s crazy, she’s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
One of my best talents is pretending to like people. Unfortunately, I only show it when no one`s around.
"Estimated Time of Arrival" on the GPS. Challenge accepted!