Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
I started seeing this girl recently. She sometimes texts. Sometimes Whatsapps. Sometimes she emails. Sometimes she Facebooks. Im getting mixed messages.
You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, `You`re only interested in one thing,` and you can`t remember what it is.
About to stick a pin in your voodoo doll.... Brace yourself.
This Status Update could be yours for six Easy Payments of $19.99
Sorry I said "at least it`s healthy" when you asked me how cute your baby was.
I need to learn the rules to make sure I don`t accidently follow them
If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
Mondays feel like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it`s oatmeal raisin.
Why do they leave folding chairs so close to the wrestling ring? Shouldn’t the maintenance staff have learned their lesson by now?
Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you cant have anymore food and im just never ready for that kind of commitment