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I think I need to return my GPS...no matter what it can`t help me find easy street
Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
I don`t know what`s more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
If a cannibal is late to dinner do they give him the cold shoulder?
"I just launched a new fragrance!" - a great way to announce a fart
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
Coffee, you`re on the bench ... Alcohol suit up!!
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
It`s ok, ghosts, no-one believes in me either.
I`m sexy and I know it really is....... your slutty and you blow it.
I live in a madhouse, ruled by a tiny army, that I made myself
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.