Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There are 2 types of people that annoy me: Drunk people, when I`m sober. Sober people, when I`m drunk.
I am so thankful for all the people that aren`t in my life.
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
If you don’t cuss when you drive you aren’t paying enough attention to the road.
If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap.
It`s bigger on the inside..said no woman, ever!
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
Having a mohawk used to mean you were tough. Now it means you’re a 3 year-old with annoying parents.
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
People keep mistaking my "wow"s for compliments.
My grocery cart right now says ” I’m getting drunk and doing laundry tonight!” And also. “I like fruit.”
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
The first guy who made fire by rubbing two sticks together probably did a lot of other weird sh!t.
I just did a weeks worth of cardio after I walked into a spider`s web.