Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
I wouldn`t say I`m an alcoholic. I`d slur it.
You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.
Meanwhile on Facebook, someone has made a casserole...
Right before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
Wearing my pajamas to Walmart. I don`t want to attract any attention.
Wind chimes? I can`t see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what`d be nice? Noise.
I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts “Batman” when he’s drunk. I know I do.
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?
I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing.
To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.