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Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs.
They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
I`ve created a shoe made out of Legos, so when you step on Lego it doesn`t hurt. You just get taller.
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn´t work. I´m going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
I need to do laundry so bad I`m actually wearing Christmas stockings
“Let’s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise” – sports fans
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
You’d think my password was “yourmom” because my computer just told me it was too easy.
I`m super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I`m also wearing a cape.
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.