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Between Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, Castle, and Monk...I am now fairly confident I can get away with pretty much anything.
I`ve spent approximately 2% of my life walking back to the trash can and checking the box to see how long I need to microwave my food.
Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
I feel like I`m not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don`t cut and dye my hair and change my identity.
Parents: Where are you going at this time of the night all dressed up like a slut? Daughter: To the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture.
When choosing a name for your daughter, imagine her being announced in a strip club. If she doesn`t need a stage name, pick something else.
Some of these Giraffe profile pictures are a vast improvement.
I don`t know if I should tip the bathroom attendant, or charge for letting him watch...
High-five a veteran today.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
Serving size ?? LMAO
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
My most heavily used kitchen appliance is a fire extinguisher.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch yesterday.