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Lets face it we have all tried to get something done before the microwave timer goes off.
I hate the snow so much, I want to build a snowman just so I can punch it in its face.
That moment you realize that the person who proofread Hitler`s speeches was indeed a Grammar Nazi.
I can`t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems....I`d be successful and happy by now if it wasn`t for them!!!!
It`s not working. I`ve napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.
Why do people say ``I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to "grow up," I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
I spend my weekends farting in libraries and then shushing people that complain.
My entire working knowledge of automotive repair is derived from the song "The Wheels on the Bus"