Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
In my most recent survey,,, four out of five women talked crap about the fifth one whenever she was out of earshot.
As a child, you dream of adventure, travel & success. As an adult, a lot of the time, you just hope the toilet flushes.
I don`t know what`s more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
It`s only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
My pants are 75% off.
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I`m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
The number of red lights you will hit while driving are directly proportional to how bad you have to pee.
Spank me once, shame on you. Spank me twice, now we`re getting somewhere.
Whenever I want a klondike bar I just pay for it.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the more important question is, how did they get in there in the first place?
Good thing I`m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?