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Please ignore this post, I`m pretending to be adding a coworker`s phone number.
The expiration date on my credit card is 4/20 and it always gets a good laugh when Im ordering pizza for delivery.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
Hardest question in a relationship, "What do you feel like eating?"
The hardest part about being an adult is trying to hide how you`re still a child.
The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
"I`m glad the weekends over" -Nobody ever
I don`t like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I`m leaving!
When you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...