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I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
It`s Thanksgiving. Don`t forget to set your scale back 25 lbs
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
You can look at some people and instantly know they’re only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
I saw the most beautiful painting at the store the other day … but then I realized it was a mirror.
Best pickup line : wanna get pizza?
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts.
Why am I not allowed to post anything on here?
People in glass houses shouldn`t masturbate during the day....
Gotta thin the herd. – me eating animal crackers
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap.
I once dated a woman who thought windmills were solar powered. I`m so glad I don`t drink anymore.
I wonder if pet products are tested on humans?